Surpassing Our Survival

Tales & Truths

Tale:  Only strangers sexually abuse       children.

Truth:  95% of child sexual abuse incidents are committed by someone known and trusted by the child and family members.  Offenders use the relationship to manipulate, bribe and coerce children into sexual abuse.  It is not enough to just teach children “stranger    danger.”

Tale:  Children lie about sexual abuse.

Truth:  Children do not have the explicit sexual knowledge necessary to describe an incident they have not experienced.  Children are more likely to say the sexual abuse did not occur in order to protect the offender and/or family unit.

Tale:  Sexual abuse is always violent and   painful.

Truth:  While many people believe that   sexual abuse is physically violent, it is more often psychologically coercive.  For the most part, the child is engaged by means of      persuasion, bribes, and threats, rather than by extreme physical force.  In addition, we are born with bodies that respond to touch, especially our genitals.  The pleasure a child feels during sexual abuse creates confusion, shame and doubt.  This reinforces the       offender’s goal of secrecy.  Although the child may not always be physically forced,  responsibility always lies with the offending adult, not with the child.

Why Counselling After Sexual Abuse

Child sexual abuse is a traumatic event in the life of children and families, it distorts their sense of their word, their self concept and  capacities.  Counselling can assist families in the following ways:

· Normalizes the trauma through support and education.

· Provides a safe place to express thoughts and feelings through art and play therapy.

· Rebuilds personal capacity.

· Rebuilds the child’s self-concept, value and worth.

· Rebuilds trust in self, others and the world

·  Renews hope and optimism.